Tweet
I hadn’t fished for over a week and my angst was tangible.
As I raced at a snail’s pace from one place to another during the hectic holiday madness, I could sense the old familiar feeling of seasonal dysfunction building within me. All I wanted to do was to dip a paddle and wet a line…
Retail management during the holidays is fraught with built in pressures and potential snapping points. Everyone wants a piece and everything is “urgent.” After 18 years, this one was different, though.
I’ve had countless people commenting on “how good I looked.” Many asked if I had lost more weight. Others wanted to know my “secret.” At first, I didn’t think anything of it. Just people being polite and sharing seasonally appropriate platitudes.
Over time, the cadence of these remarks began to reveal an emerging pattern. Once I realized this, it didn’t take long to identify the source of my “new” outwardly projections. It was something that I haven’t chosen in a long time - Balance.
As I am sure is true for you, for me, that balance comes in the form of fishing and being one with the water. I have long realized was that while paddling my kayak, I am at peace with myself and the world. Even if the conditions are harsh and the going rough, I chose to be in that space at that time. I am in control of my reality.
What I failed to appreciate was that, while embracing my aqueous nature with more regularity, those moments of peace and choice were exuding into other aspects of my life. Balance via osmosis was asserting itself in tangible ways and people were recognizing it in me before I became self aware enough to see it for myself.
On this particular afternoon - two days before Christmas - I was able to sneak out a little early in hopes of stealing an hour on the water to recharge. As always, during this time of year, traffic was horrific as everyone bounced from place to place searching for that perfect gift. I was counting the minutes of daylight I was loosing. Being only one day after the Winter Solstice, time was precious and decidedly, not on my side.
Despite my closing window of opportunity, I vowed to myself that I would go out, even if for only a short time. As we pulled up to the house, I raced to grab the paddle suit hanging on the porch. It took mere moments to gyrate my way into it and pull on my neoprene booties. Happily, I am blessed with easy water access near my house and I was at the launch in a flash.
Still caught up in my frenzied state, I felt like the Tasmanian Devil as I whirled around the car, unloading the boat and pulling gear. I was at the water’s edge in record time, though still pissed with time that had been “wasted.”
As I plopped into my seat and reached forward to make my initial paddle stroke, magic happened. All of it fell away, and I mean ALL of it. I could sense my demeanor shift 180 degrees as the blade bit into the water. I could literally feel it being washed away with the rain that was falling and left in swirl of my wake.
It took only moments to reach my closest fishing hole. In that short distance, I had transformed myself from “crazed retail guy” into “Fisherman”. The conditions were, what some would consider, unacceptable. The rain was coming down in varying degrees of intensity and the day was too warm for December. It didn’t matter at all. My internal sense of balance was, in that moment, restored.
I relished being out when others would not. I had the river to myself and I basked in the sights and that sounds of the natural world that I usually don’t take the time to notice. It was a treat for all my senses -like the thin layer of fog hugging the surface of the Chesapeake Bay visible in the distance. It was surreal. Or the cacophony of a gaggle of geese that serenaded me as they launched from a nearby field and flew low overhear, searching for their preferred nocturnal roost. The aerial parade seemed like it lasted for ever….
As night set in, I gave up fishing, but I was loath to leave my sanctuary and return home. I spent the next hour paddling in the dark and the rain, just observing everything around me. I appreciated Christmas displays, enjoyed perfectly lit sculptures dancing in the wind and simply sat and reflected.
As has happened so many times in my past, I remembered that I am constantly called upon to create my own reality. I can choose how I respond and react to any given situation, at work or on the water. Nothing changed in the 100 strokes I took while performing my own Jekyll and Hyde routine except my outlook. I changed my reality by changing my perception of my situation. Choice is the ultimate tool and all too often forgotten.
When I finally arrived home, I walked inside and announced to my daughter “Balance, Restored.” Being no stranger to my pendulum of perspectives, she simply smiled, having seen this before.
On this Christmas Day, I hope that anyone reading can take a moment and remember that you always have the power to choose. Your choices create your reality, every moment of every day. Even if the choices are all hard or seemingly impossible, the possibility is there.
Remembering this is the best gift you can give yourself, and who deserves it more?
Merry Christmas!
As I raced at a snail’s pace from one place to another during the hectic holiday madness, I could sense the old familiar feeling of seasonal dysfunction building within me. All I wanted to do was to dip a paddle and wet a line…
Retail management during the holidays is fraught with built in pressures and potential snapping points. Everyone wants a piece and everything is “urgent.” After 18 years, this one was different, though.
I’ve had countless people commenting on “how good I looked.” Many asked if I had lost more weight. Others wanted to know my “secret.” At first, I didn’t think anything of it. Just people being polite and sharing seasonally appropriate platitudes.
Over time, the cadence of these remarks began to reveal an emerging pattern. Once I realized this, it didn’t take long to identify the source of my “new” outwardly projections. It was something that I haven’t chosen in a long time - Balance.
As I am sure is true for you, for me, that balance comes in the form of fishing and being one with the water. I have long realized was that while paddling my kayak, I am at peace with myself and the world. Even if the conditions are harsh and the going rough, I chose to be in that space at that time. I am in control of my reality.
What I failed to appreciate was that, while embracing my aqueous nature with more regularity, those moments of peace and choice were exuding into other aspects of my life. Balance via osmosis was asserting itself in tangible ways and people were recognizing it in me before I became self aware enough to see it for myself.
On this particular afternoon - two days before Christmas - I was able to sneak out a little early in hopes of stealing an hour on the water to recharge. As always, during this time of year, traffic was horrific as everyone bounced from place to place searching for that perfect gift. I was counting the minutes of daylight I was loosing. Being only one day after the Winter Solstice, time was precious and decidedly, not on my side.
Despite my closing window of opportunity, I vowed to myself that I would go out, even if for only a short time. As we pulled up to the house, I raced to grab the paddle suit hanging on the porch. It took mere moments to gyrate my way into it and pull on my neoprene booties. Happily, I am blessed with easy water access near my house and I was at the launch in a flash.
Still caught up in my frenzied state, I felt like the Tasmanian Devil as I whirled around the car, unloading the boat and pulling gear. I was at the water’s edge in record time, though still pissed with time that had been “wasted.”
As I plopped into my seat and reached forward to make my initial paddle stroke, magic happened. All of it fell away, and I mean ALL of it. I could sense my demeanor shift 180 degrees as the blade bit into the water. I could literally feel it being washed away with the rain that was falling and left in swirl of my wake.
It took only moments to reach my closest fishing hole. In that short distance, I had transformed myself from “crazed retail guy” into “Fisherman”. The conditions were, what some would consider, unacceptable. The rain was coming down in varying degrees of intensity and the day was too warm for December. It didn’t matter at all. My internal sense of balance was, in that moment, restored.
I relished being out when others would not. I had the river to myself and I basked in the sights and that sounds of the natural world that I usually don’t take the time to notice. It was a treat for all my senses -like the thin layer of fog hugging the surface of the Chesapeake Bay visible in the distance. It was surreal. Or the cacophony of a gaggle of geese that serenaded me as they launched from a nearby field and flew low overhear, searching for their preferred nocturnal roost. The aerial parade seemed like it lasted for ever….
As night set in, I gave up fishing, but I was loath to leave my sanctuary and return home. I spent the next hour paddling in the dark and the rain, just observing everything around me. I appreciated Christmas displays, enjoyed perfectly lit sculptures dancing in the wind and simply sat and reflected.
As has happened so many times in my past, I remembered that I am constantly called upon to create my own reality. I can choose how I respond and react to any given situation, at work or on the water. Nothing changed in the 100 strokes I took while performing my own Jekyll and Hyde routine except my outlook. I changed my reality by changing my perception of my situation. Choice is the ultimate tool and all too often forgotten.
When I finally arrived home, I walked inside and announced to my daughter “Balance, Restored.” Being no stranger to my pendulum of perspectives, she simply smiled, having seen this before.
On this Christmas Day, I hope that anyone reading can take a moment and remember that you always have the power to choose. Your choices create your reality, every moment of every day. Even if the choices are all hard or seemingly impossible, the possibility is there.
Remembering this is the best gift you can give yourself, and who deserves it more?
Merry Christmas!
Comment